A Simple Solution To Ageing

In just a few, short weeks, I will be another year older. And I’ve decided that this year, I will officially stop ageing.

In the main, I’m actually not that bothered about people knowing how old I am. Since my daughter was old enough to speak, her opening conversational gambit with new people was always, “Do you know how old my mum is?” At which point, they would start to cough and shuffle, in anticipation of some embarrassing denouement. Inevitably, my age would be disclosed and it would get worse. “How old?” You could see them thinking. “Blimey, I’d have said another ten on top of that”.

So, this year, I’m going to pick an age and just stick to it.

My big problem, is of course, that I’m whilst I think I’m still only 21, my face has a comfortable, lived in look that clearly denies this. Hmmmm. What to pick? And can the mighty powers of Estee Lauder‘s product development function make it credible? Having said that, I do have access to industrial strength Botox, every three months, assuming that I can persuade my neurologist to inject a few precious drops into my forehead. [Editor’s note: No way. Your neck needs all it can get!].

And the winner is? 39.

I’ll test it out and see what happens.


About Dystonia Girl

Horse rider who loves to blog and do lots of other things too. Lives with, but is not defined by, a rare neurological condition called Dystonia.
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3 Responses to A Simple Solution To Ageing

  1. Not having seen you in the flesh, so to speak, DG I’d say 39 is a really good age to be forever.

    It speaks of a slight world-weary wisdom coupled with a dash of cynicism and a tendency to witty wisecracks. But to all of which is added the intriguing mystery of your obvious sexual experience. A lethal combination … stand by to be overwhelmed by curious men. Tell your husband to worry.
    And no … I haven’t been reading ’50 shades …’

    Is it just me or does that all sound like rather a lot of hard work? 🙂

    • Brilliant! That’s very good. I’m not sure that I dare leave the house now! However, I have an opportunity to test out my ‘new’ age tomorrow. It’s the school fete. I shall prime the child accordingly, then slap on four tonnes of make up. I’m thinking at least two coats of foundation. One coat to concrete over the cracks. One to provide a finish. Then I will stand in the shade (in case it all melts and the truth is revealed), get people to talk about birthdays and then stand back whilst an orderly queue of attractive young men forms…

  2. Attagirl … you go get ‘em!
    Of course if everything goes pear-shaped … I know nothing.

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