This morning when I woke up, I felt rotten. Tired, head throbbing, with a sense of never having been to bed. Just the same as if I’d flown in over-night from the States, in the cheap seats with a baby crying in the row behind. As my internal systems slowly booted up, I considered, how the heck did I get like this?
And then I remembered. The sleepover.
Earlier in the week, I’d agreed that the Offspring could invite some friends round to have dinner and stay the night.
My daughter and her friends all attend a very small, friendly school. It’s a business-like and orderly environment, with old fashioned views about courtesy and respect. Therefore, you can imagine my thoughts, when within minutes of them arriving on the door-step, any semblance of polite, lady-like deportment was gone. Instead, a band of orcs appeared. The ringleader, sadly, being my child who proceeded to live up to her Viking name by marauding round the house shouting ‘X is a dick’ and brandishing a Nerf gun.
After eating the contents of the fridge, they settled down to watch a movie, but got bored with it after an hour. Unfortunately, it was too wet to go outside, so they contented themselves with making up a game which involved throwing something downstairs and laughing a lot. By this time, me, my husband and the cats had barricaded ourselves in the kitchen.
At 10.30pm, I rounded them up and got them into bed, with the hope they’d be asleep by 11pm so we too could go to bed. How wrong can you be? At midnight, they were still chatting and cackling. Eventually, it all went quiet, the cats came back in from the garden and, lovely sleep at last … But not for long. Back up again at 3am. One of them had got up to use the bathroom and woken the others up … More talking … Aaaagh!
I’m not sure what time I finally fell asleep, but it only felt like 5 minutes when the alarm went off, to get me up to go horse riding. Fantastic. Try riding a horse, with jet-lag.
When I got downstairs, I found four girls quietly eating breakfast and watching TV. Blimey.
They’ve all gone home now and order is restored.
Until the next time.